I don't know if the equivalent of 'Child Services' for cars exists, but if they do, I should call them and turn myself in. My poor old car has been sitting for almost two months, alone and forgotten in the yard. Covered in dust, it even has cobwebs growing on it.
To be fair, I haven't been home much over the past little while, but I know that's just an excuse to make me feel better. I parked my 1983 Opel Corsa TR back in May and haven't touched it since. It may not be a collectors car, but the TR is quite rare. While 1980's Corsa hatchbacks are a dime a dozen here, my two-door model with a proper trunk was never sold in France. In fact, I have never even seen another one.